14 Stone 12 pounds

Yay, another 1.5 pounds off and going strong, I haven't been perfect all week, but I've tried to have as many good days or good parts of days that the little bits wrong don't count in the overall scheme of things. Really happy that things are now moving in the right direction.

I'm still doing Mr Motivator and I really think that's helping with when I do go a little bit astray - I think it's giving me that extra bit of leeway. I hope however, that my tea last night (sausage sandwiches and chips), together with my snickers bar, do not derail next weeks losses, oh and tomorrow is end of month Friday tea, but again I will try and make sure that I stay on track.

Fingers crossed for next week!

14 stone 13.5 pounds

Yay, lost 1.5 pounds and I'm now officially the right side of 15 stone, now I've just got to keep it up and keep moving forward. I have been continuing with Mr M so I'm now getting more exercise which should help and I have a clear vision of where I want to get so that I'm sure will help too. Just really chuffed I'm getting there!

It probably would have been better had I not had a Pizza Hut pasta on Tuesday night, but I was feeling full of cold and really didn't feel like cooking, but hay, I still lost some!

Don't Panic!

Well, in the words of the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, I may not have posted for a few days, but I have not fallen off the wagon, I've not eaten any chocolate that was not accounted for or allowed within my syns. I am feeling very virtuous (and dare I say it, a little slimmer).

I went through my underwear draw the other day, and realised that I have a huge collection of very sexy satin undies in sizes that used to fit me, and would be considered quite slim now. It's weird, I've always been told I was overweight, probably since about 12 or 13, but now I look back and I realise I should never have listened to any of the people who said I was podgy or fat - I wasn't. I had a 28 inch waist, which by current dress sizes is a 10!!! - so to all those people who were horrible to me and in severe need of glasses I BLOW A RASBERRY IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!

At the moment I am enjoying slimming and feel confident in the knowledge that I will get back to that 28 inch waist again, and all that slinky underwear will be back against my skin again (and not bursting at the seams)

Till next time!

Still hanging in there

Well, I've had another good day (up until now anyway), and Mr M is still making a regular appearance in my day (don't tell the hubby!).

I had yogurt for breakfast with leek and potato soup for lunch (syn free), three Ryvita crispbreads with it, and for tea I had Chicken Jalafrezi and rice for tea (slimming world recipe and syn free again) - Yee Ha, what a great day, so hoping for good things on the scales next week and will most definitely not be happy if I do not lose some weight. I do know however that my size is changing so even if I'm not losing weight, my clothes fit better.

Anyway, I'm off for now, probably back again tomorrow with an update. Will give Mr M a miss for the weekend (save him for after work during the week).

15 stone 1 pound

To say I'm disappointed would be a bit of an understatement, but I'm determined to continue. It's probably due to the fact that I had that pizza and bits on Friday and didn't really start following the plan properly until Monday, but yesterday was another good day and even after Slimming World in that black hole that is Wednesday evenings, I still stuck to the plan. I EVEN WENT FOR THE HAT TRICK YESTERDAY AND DID MR M AGAIN!

Long may this continue & less of me shall you see!!

Mr M two days in a row

Yay, I actually got out my Mr Motivator DVD again today - so that's two days in a row. I'm trying to get into the habit of coming home from work and doing 15 minutes exercise before I even sit down or do tea, if I can make it into a habit I'm less likely to forget to do it (that's the theory anyway).

Hopefully all this exercise, combined with me being super good about what I eat will show on the scales, it might not this week though as it will only have been a few days of being good and not an entire week. But I'll have to work on that next week - as they say 'Rome wasn't built in a day', and neither was my big fat tummy, I'll have you know I've been working on that for years!

My aim is to get to my club 10 target in the next 12 weeks, which from where I was last Wednesday will be 14.5 lb, this is just over 1 lb per week, so not too difficult but I do need to buckle down and actually start following the plan.

so fingers crossed!

Things are on the up!

Well, yesterday was not perfect and I ate my hubbys pudding last night (well, he didn't want it!).

Today has been really good though - yogurt for breakfast, apple snack, cous cous salad for lunch and oven baked risotto for tea (all of which are on plan) AND I EVEN DID SOME MR MOTIVATOR EXERCISES!!!!

Yay for me!

Pizza

Well, yesterday was not perfect in any way, shape or form. I had a lovely BLT baguette for my lunch, bought for me by my lovely friend Kirsty (we take it in turns to buy lunch on a Friday - it's a great way to start the weekend). Then for tea Geoff and I had Pizza's, well, Charlie was staying at a friends and it took us so long to decide what to have for tea we ended up deciding on takeaway. Mr M did not get a look in either so I'm still the same tubby me (well, maybe a little bit tubbier - courtesy of the rocky road pudding that went with the pizza, oh and the side order of potato wedges!).

Well, must keep trying!

15 stone 0.5 lb

Well, that's the official weigh in weight - like the old school reports 'must try harder'. I really do want to start being able to wear smaller clothes and not feel so self-conscious pulling at tops to make sure they don't cling to all my curves (which I might add are in all the wrong places!).

I didn't end the day well yesterday, I didn't fancy the curry so I had two cheese and onion sandwiches for my tea, which were absolutely gorgeous I might add! I also succummed to a cream bun in work after a particularly traumatic afternoon (well, that's my excuse anyway).

I did think of buying some chocolate or crisps to have with my curry for lunch today, but managed to resist (you see I do try, just rarely succeed, but I do try!). I'm trying to think of my food as either helping me to get where I want to go or poisoning me, but even as a poison, chocolate still looks good!

I am also going to try and use my Mr Motivator DVD every night this week and will see if this helps to stop me going up on the scales instead of down.

Weigh in day

Okay, so tonight is my official weigh in, so today is starvation day. Think all of us in Slimming World do it - you starve yourself before weigh in and then between weigh in and midnight is the blackhole between the end of one week and the start of the next. Stupid really, if I just kept eating sensibly all week then the weight would come off easily.

Sounds really easy when you say it like that, but I wouldn't be overweight if I were able to just eat sensibly all the time. I have no full button for chocolate or cakes. I'm sat here in work and there are cream cakes at the end of the room but I am resisting.

I have also found out that Bananas disagree with me, been eating them for years and suddenly made the connection a couple of days ago between me eating them and the most awful bloated feeling. Not sure what it is about them but I haven't had a banana today and I feel so much better for it - now if I could just get chocolate to have the same effect on me I might stop eating it!

Anyway, I've not quite starved myself today, I've had yogurt for breakfast, an apple, a clementine and a mug shot noodle thing for lunch, will probably be starving by 3 p.m. but there you go.

I've even got tea all sorted for when I get back from class tonight - slow cooked chicken curry, which is currently in the slow cooker at home on low - YUM!!!!

Not too bad

Well, yesterday was quite a good day, I had a pasta salad for lunch, yogurt breakfast and eggs with slimming world chips for tea - I did however have a cream cake at work (it was someone's birthday), some pizza crusts (Geoff had for tea) and also some Choco Bites, which we bought with the pizza, so not quite so good.

I still haven't managed to get out Mr Motivator again, but I know I should - maybe tonight.

Anyway, see you later (proof will be in the weight tomorrow).

Official weigh in's only

Okay, I've decided now that as my weight fluctuates quite a bit, I am only going to provide weigh in's once a week from Slimming World, now as I go on a Wednesday evening, this probably means you will only get them once a week on a Thursday morning (or evening, depends when I can get online).

Weekend has been good and bad - I've tried to eat better and have low syn snacks available for when I need to eat, but I've not managed to get out Mr Motivator again, so that's not so good.

So far today, I've eaten the rest of last night's tea, which was Bacon Pasta Thingy, which isn't too bad, and copious amounts of coffee - we have Roast for tea which I cook quite healthily and I won't be having any of the chocolate sponge pudding with chocolate custard so I can feel quite virtuous there as well.

Anyway - see you later.

Line in the Sand

Woo Hoo, digging out Mr Motivator obviously did the trick as I got up this morning and I'm now 14 st 13.8!!!!! I'm so happy I could puke (but I'm not bulimic). Finally I can draw a line in the sand and say, right now I'm not going back above 15st - this may be difficult as today is our end of month Friday tea, which is a takeaway, Geoff and I usually have a curry with rice though so this shouldn't be too bad, it's the sweets that normally go with it, but I will try to look at healthier alternatives - may have a bag of snack a jack crisps and try and get hold of some Coco Pops Coco Rocks breakfast bars as apparently they are only 4 syns each, so quite a reasonable snack.

Yay, anyway I've got to go get ready to go to work - if you see some fat bird skipping today, it may be me!

AWOL

Okay, so I went AWOL yesterday, but that was because I had to spend the afternoon (a waste of time as it turns out) at the hospital with my husband. I got a morning in work, didn't even get my lunch in the office and then had to take him to hospital.

I was very good though, I ate properly during the day, however we didn't get home until 6.45 pm by which time we were really tired, and both had headaches from caffein withdrawals and so ended up having a Kebab for tea, oh and 3 oat and raisin cookies.

Still - having been 15 st 1 yesterday morning, I got up and was 15st 0.8 today, I think the exercise on Tuesday has had an effect, so I am going to try and up my exercise, this means dragging out my Mr Motivator DVD as it has small blocks, and even I can fit 15 minutes into my day.

Anyway, this was just a quick post as I'm still feeling washed out from yesterday.

TTFN

AARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Okay, so this morning I was 15 st 2lb - this is not helping!!!!

Well today, I thought I was being quite good, took my yogurt to work, 2 pieces of fruit and because I didn't have a lot of time I took a pot noodle type thing by Morrisons for Lunch. When I checked with Slimming World online, it turns out that one pot was 19 syns!!!

The one good thing today is some serious exercise as I had to walk from the garage after dropping off our car for repair and also had to walk back there later to collect the car - uphill to work and downhill to collect but a 20 minute walk each way. Hopefully that will show on the scales soon!

Tea tonight was Sausages in Gravy (healthy ones from Morrisons) with a jacket potato and peas so that wasn't bad. I made some oat and raisin cookies though and had to try some, so not so good.

I really want to get rid of my overhanging tum and start wearing clothes instead of them wearing me. I'm looking forward to shopping in the cheap shops and being able to find lots of things that fit in all the right places.

Not too bad....

Okay so yesterday was not great, I got the baking bug and made homemade Oreos with a lovely creamy centre, Banana and Walnut cake and Syrup sponge pudding. Yes, I tried the Oreos and yes I had some of the pudding with custard, it was all lovely and that combined with Roast Chicken, roast potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower and stuffing - oh and the one slice of Pizza that was my entire eating for the rest of the day was not totally brilliant. But when I stood on the scales this morning, my weight had only increased by 0.2 of a pound to 15 st 1.8 so not too much of a disaster.

Today started much better as I was working today so took my usual yogurt to work for breakfast and two pieces of fruit for snacks, together with a cous cous salad for lunch. However, I had forgotten that it was a colleagues birthday and the tradition is to buy everyone cakes on your birthday. So I have also had a custard and jam pastry and a fondant fancy today, oh and tea was not on the plan as it was Mascarpone Macaroni, which contains 250g of Mascarpone at 6 syns per 28g!!! (I just had to look that up). I either run a marathon this evening or face the fact that I'm not going to lose weight today either.

I do want to lose weight, I caught a glimpse of my wedding picture on the mantlepiece earlier - I weighed about 11st then, and thought I was fat - I've always thought I was fat, even when I was 9st 2lb I thought I was fat and ugly. I'm not even sure that if I do lose all the excess weight I'm carrying I will feel as though I am slim and beautiful, but I do have some lovely clothes and underwear that I would like to get back into - I just need to find a way to stop sabotaging myself, and it is sabotage. Why can I not make the healthy, sensible choice that will allow me to have the body I want, there must be something inside me which is saying No, you cannot have that!

Or is it fear of the unknown - it's been so long since I had that body, I cannot remember what it was truly like, will I like myself slim, will I be able to handle all the attention? or am I hanging on to the fat me so that I can blend into the background and use the 'bubbly fat person' to hide what's really going on.

Hmmm... that's a bit deep for me, so I'll sign off for the minute and go ponder

Must Try Harder!

Okay, so yesterday was an unmitigated disaster - for tea I had a stir fry rice with beef, king prawns with pineapple (at least trying to get one of my 5 a day in there!) and some boiled rice, which has probably shown on the scales but I wasn't brave enough to stand on them this morning!

Today, being Sunday, means roast dinner tonight, and it's the one night of the week that we have pudding, so probably not going to be too good there either, but I will try and be good during the day today. So far I've had:

1x tea with usual

2x coffee with usual

Anyway, will try and come back later and fill you in on the details of the day.

Going downhill fast!

Well, I now know that Lidl don't sell grapes - I tried, honest I did, so I ended up with a big bag of Lidl's Maltesers and a set of 5 small bars of chocolate with chopped nuts, but I have only eaten 2 so far, and they were lovely.

As a little aside, I can highly recommend Paul if you are planning a trip to the cinema - IT'S AMAZING, so funny, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are EPIC! and the special effects on the Alien are brilliant.

Don't think today is going to get any better on the diet as I really don't feel like cooking tea so I may well end up asking Pizza Hut to do our tea.

Hmmm....

Okay, yesterday was not so good (think it was probably the cheese on toast), my weight this morning was 15 st 1.6 lb so a bit one step forward 2 steps back.

Keep trying!!! today I'm due to go to the cinema with the family to see Paul. We usually take our own sweets and drinks so I'm going to try and buy some grapes to have instead, but those sweets may call me too loud, we will have to see.

So far today I've had:

1x tea with usual

4x coffee with usual

2 slices of eggy bread (fried in frylight)

1 slice of bread and butter

Well, I'll try and get back later to fill you in on how the rest of the day has gone - oh but I did do 2 hours of housework today, so a bit more exercise than I usually get.

Still struggling

Well, it's been another day of battling with hunger as I run round after family - again it started well (if I'm at work it's easy as I always sort out lunch to take in). But when I get home it's a different story, this evening my daughter was staying at a friends house and needed me to give her a lift over there as it was raining so tea was not as well planned as it should have been if I had been able to come home and just get on with cooking.

Anyway, chalk it up to experience & carry on - today's food:

4x Tea with milk and sweetener

1x Coffee with milk & sweetener

Activia Vanilla yogurt from multipack

banana

Cous Cous Salad (1/2 syn for the flavoured cous cous packet from Morrisons)

1 slice Banana & walnut bread

2 slices cheese on toast with pickle

chicken curry & rice

We'll see tomorrow whether it has had any effect good or bad on my weight. TTFN

Not so bad

Well, yesterday was really not so bad, I stood on the scales this morning and they said 15 st. 0.6 so that's about half a pound off - yes I know it's not a lot but at least it is in the right direction and gives me a bit of a spur on for today.

Suppose I should mention where I want to get to - my destination. Well, ideally I would like to get to 9st 2 lb, I remember when I was 9st 2lb - it was a very long time ago (in a galaxy far far away!) when I was 14. I remember it so well as my target was to diet to 9 st. I was the same height as I am now and 9 st was mid way between my ideal highest and lowest weight for my height. It was just before easter and my step dad bought florentines from the local bakery, florentines are lovely but have a chocolate base and are really high in sugar, fat and calories. I had been dieting really well, reached 9 st 2 lb and had a florentine - I decided that that had ruined my diet completely and instead of just enjoying the treat and carrying on with the task at hand I blew it completely and went on a binge. To this day I regret that, but I was 14 and didn't have the wisdom of years that I do now some 1/4 of a century later.

That's why I want to keep writing this blog, I think it can help me keep perspective and focus on where I'm going - if you choose to follow me on the journey, you ma be around for some time, I really think it's going to take me ages to get where I'm going. I may reach a higher weight and be happy where I am, I'll decide that along the way.

Anyway, I'll sign off for now as I have to get ready to go to work, but I'll try and get back later with details of all I've eaten today.

Curates Egg

Well today has been the proverbial good in parts. It started well, but due to the fact that I was running around after family, I didn't plan properly, ended up starving so I just ate what was available - not on plan but hey ho. So here's what I've eaten today:

2x Coffee with semi-skimmed milk & sweetener

4x Tea, again with semi-skimmed milk & sweetener

Activia fat free strawberry yoghurt (small one from multipack, not the snackpot)

Chilli with Rice (syn free)

Banana

Apple

Chicken & Mushroom Pie with Chips

2 slices of 50/50 kingsmill with Clover lighter

1 piece of ginger cake

Well I suppose it could have been worse and it was only one meal out of the three today which was not so good (we will see what it's done on the scales tomorrow!)

In the beginning

Right, okay, I've decided to start blogging about my diet story, so I suppose I should start with my weight today. I'm not proud of this but it's 15 stone 1 pound 0.2, oh and I'm only 5 feet 3.5 inches tall (If I were 8 feet tall I might be the right weight).

I'm hoping that by blogging and working through everything surrounding my weight, I may find it easier to get proper control of it. I'm a member of Slimming World, however just being a member is no guarantee of losing weight - you have to follow the eating plan (that's where I keep falling down). I like the plan, but I also like Chocolate and have never learned to eat small portions. If I eat chocolate it's a 200g bar in one hit, with some crisps as well, and for some reason I am quite happy to eat until I feel ill. I've noticed that some of my skinny friends are able to just stop and go 'no if I eat any more I'll feel all bloated' - that just does not seem to compute with me, but it's a place I would dearly love to get.

Anyway, I'm going to try and blog details of what I eat each day so that I can see what's happening, just have to make sure that I'm really honest with what I put in and don't get amnesia!

So far today I've had a cup of tea with one sweetener and some semi-skimmed milk