Official weigh in's only

Okay, I've decided now that as my weight fluctuates quite a bit, I am only going to provide weigh in's once a week from Slimming World, now as I go on a Wednesday evening, this probably means you will only get them once a week on a Thursday morning (or evening, depends when I can get online).

Weekend has been good and bad - I've tried to eat better and have low syn snacks available for when I need to eat, but I've not managed to get out Mr Motivator again, so that's not so good.

So far today, I've eaten the rest of last night's tea, which was Bacon Pasta Thingy, which isn't too bad, and copious amounts of coffee - we have Roast for tea which I cook quite healthily and I won't be having any of the chocolate sponge pudding with chocolate custard so I can feel quite virtuous there as well.

Anyway - see you later.

Line in the Sand

Woo Hoo, digging out Mr Motivator obviously did the trick as I got up this morning and I'm now 14 st 13.8!!!!! I'm so happy I could puke (but I'm not bulimic). Finally I can draw a line in the sand and say, right now I'm not going back above 15st - this may be difficult as today is our end of month Friday tea, which is a takeaway, Geoff and I usually have a curry with rice though so this shouldn't be too bad, it's the sweets that normally go with it, but I will try to look at healthier alternatives - may have a bag of snack a jack crisps and try and get hold of some Coco Pops Coco Rocks breakfast bars as apparently they are only 4 syns each, so quite a reasonable snack.

Yay, anyway I've got to go get ready to go to work - if you see some fat bird skipping today, it may be me!

AWOL

Okay, so I went AWOL yesterday, but that was because I had to spend the afternoon (a waste of time as it turns out) at the hospital with my husband. I got a morning in work, didn't even get my lunch in the office and then had to take him to hospital.

I was very good though, I ate properly during the day, however we didn't get home until 6.45 pm by which time we were really tired, and both had headaches from caffein withdrawals and so ended up having a Kebab for tea, oh and 3 oat and raisin cookies.

Still - having been 15 st 1 yesterday morning, I got up and was 15st 0.8 today, I think the exercise on Tuesday has had an effect, so I am going to try and up my exercise, this means dragging out my Mr Motivator DVD as it has small blocks, and even I can fit 15 minutes into my day.

Anyway, this was just a quick post as I'm still feeling washed out from yesterday.

TTFN

AARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Okay, so this morning I was 15 st 2lb - this is not helping!!!!

Well today, I thought I was being quite good, took my yogurt to work, 2 pieces of fruit and because I didn't have a lot of time I took a pot noodle type thing by Morrisons for Lunch. When I checked with Slimming World online, it turns out that one pot was 19 syns!!!

The one good thing today is some serious exercise as I had to walk from the garage after dropping off our car for repair and also had to walk back there later to collect the car - uphill to work and downhill to collect but a 20 minute walk each way. Hopefully that will show on the scales soon!

Tea tonight was Sausages in Gravy (healthy ones from Morrisons) with a jacket potato and peas so that wasn't bad. I made some oat and raisin cookies though and had to try some, so not so good.

I really want to get rid of my overhanging tum and start wearing clothes instead of them wearing me. I'm looking forward to shopping in the cheap shops and being able to find lots of things that fit in all the right places.

Not too bad....

Okay so yesterday was not great, I got the baking bug and made homemade Oreos with a lovely creamy centre, Banana and Walnut cake and Syrup sponge pudding. Yes, I tried the Oreos and yes I had some of the pudding with custard, it was all lovely and that combined with Roast Chicken, roast potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower and stuffing - oh and the one slice of Pizza that was my entire eating for the rest of the day was not totally brilliant. But when I stood on the scales this morning, my weight had only increased by 0.2 of a pound to 15 st 1.8 so not too much of a disaster.

Today started much better as I was working today so took my usual yogurt to work for breakfast and two pieces of fruit for snacks, together with a cous cous salad for lunch. However, I had forgotten that it was a colleagues birthday and the tradition is to buy everyone cakes on your birthday. So I have also had a custard and jam pastry and a fondant fancy today, oh and tea was not on the plan as it was Mascarpone Macaroni, which contains 250g of Mascarpone at 6 syns per 28g!!! (I just had to look that up). I either run a marathon this evening or face the fact that I'm not going to lose weight today either.

I do want to lose weight, I caught a glimpse of my wedding picture on the mantlepiece earlier - I weighed about 11st then, and thought I was fat - I've always thought I was fat, even when I was 9st 2lb I thought I was fat and ugly. I'm not even sure that if I do lose all the excess weight I'm carrying I will feel as though I am slim and beautiful, but I do have some lovely clothes and underwear that I would like to get back into - I just need to find a way to stop sabotaging myself, and it is sabotage. Why can I not make the healthy, sensible choice that will allow me to have the body I want, there must be something inside me which is saying No, you cannot have that!

Or is it fear of the unknown - it's been so long since I had that body, I cannot remember what it was truly like, will I like myself slim, will I be able to handle all the attention? or am I hanging on to the fat me so that I can blend into the background and use the 'bubbly fat person' to hide what's really going on.

Hmmm... that's a bit deep for me, so I'll sign off for the minute and go ponder

Must Try Harder!

Okay, so yesterday was an unmitigated disaster - for tea I had a stir fry rice with beef, king prawns with pineapple (at least trying to get one of my 5 a day in there!) and some boiled rice, which has probably shown on the scales but I wasn't brave enough to stand on them this morning!

Today, being Sunday, means roast dinner tonight, and it's the one night of the week that we have pudding, so probably not going to be too good there either, but I will try and be good during the day today. So far I've had:

1x tea with usual

2x coffee with usual

Anyway, will try and come back later and fill you in on the details of the day.

Going downhill fast!

Well, I now know that Lidl don't sell grapes - I tried, honest I did, so I ended up with a big bag of Lidl's Maltesers and a set of 5 small bars of chocolate with chopped nuts, but I have only eaten 2 so far, and they were lovely.

As a little aside, I can highly recommend Paul if you are planning a trip to the cinema - IT'S AMAZING, so funny, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are EPIC! and the special effects on the Alien are brilliant.

Don't think today is going to get any better on the diet as I really don't feel like cooking tea so I may well end up asking Pizza Hut to do our tea.